Some respect for those working in the porn industry

I read this blog post over at Kiss Kiss Bang Bang today and my immediate reaction was ‘hear, hear!’

The writer’s point being that just because she has chosen to work in the porn industry (be it artistic or mainstream) and there are now photos and videos of her nude body & being sexual  out on the web, it doesn’t give you the right to be rude or disrespectful.

She talks about the misconception some viewers have that the women who appear in porn are all “hot sluts just gagging for it” (with them). They’re not.

What you as the viewer (and hopefully purchaser) of the porn videos get from the experience of viewing is your own, individual experience. Enjoy your fantasies as you watch. That’s what the sites, photos and flicks are there for. But don’t assume, don’t transfer your feelings on to the person on the screen.

What the women and men who make porn get out of the experience, well, that’s their own thing.

If you’re going to email or contribute to a forum with the contributors (the stars), don’t continue on with your fantasy. Be polite, be respectful. For goodness sake, be downright grateful! For without these willing stars, there would be no decent, ethical porn vids to watch.

For the readers of this post unaware of the existence of decent, respectful, ethical porn, I direct you over to Kiss Kiss Bang Bang’s blog again.  She has lots of nice, sexy links. Click.

But aren’t you straight?

Recently I was chatting with a friend about sexual orientation and the fluidity of sexual desire. He, like me, identifies as being bisexual but now finds himself in a monogamous, stable relationship with a person of the opposite sex. Does that mean he should now call himself straight? Are we both now heterosexual?

It’s an interesting question. Straight people tend to remain straight, gays tend to remain gay. It seems it’s only bisexuals who see the need to examine their orientation regularly and re-label themselves according to how they’re feeling, what they’re doing and who they’re doing it with.

Just to spice things up, we then need to add to the mix the growing group of people who don’t identify themselves as bisexual or gay, but simply as people who have sex with people of their own gender. I’d call them bisexual but many would disagree, saying that it’s only sex and they’re really straight. I’d call them confused bisexuals but maybe I’m becoming a grumpy old woman?

My long-term relationship raises the question, as it does for my friend, at what point should I re-classify myself? Do I need to?

The longer my heterosexual relationship goes on, the more ridiculous it sometimes feels to me to call myself bisexual. Frankly it’s easier not to even examine the issue and hope it never comes up in polite conversation.

But sometimes it does come up.

I have been at barbecues and parties when someone makes an erroneous generalist statement about gays or bi’s. If I speak up I may possibly reveal my own bisexuality. This shouldn’t be a problem but not everyone is accepting. Homophobia (in all its degrees) is alive and thriving in our supposedly enlightened society. A lot of people still find it confusing and bizarre to be confronted with a bisexual-in-a-straight relationship.

I feel a great reluctance to let my bisexual tag go.

Perhaps only another bisexual or other sexually-fluid oriented person would understand me when I state “I’m a bisexual in a straight relationship and I am not at all confused”.

I have wandered through the lounge room at parties where the guys are drooling over an attractive female on the TV. “Nice tits”, I murmur. That’s enough to raise eyebrows, the men toying with their lesbian fantasies (sorry guys, it doesn’t work like that) and their wives and partners wondering if I’m a sexual threat to their relationship (sigh, really girls).

It’s this scenario that demonstrates that I am still, most definitely bisexual. I still find people of my own gender sexually attractive. I still lust after women. Given the enjoyment of my current relationship and the importance I attach to it, I am not going to act upon that lust by seeking out a dalliance with another woman. But I will enjoy the fantasy and the desire.

There’s nothing like being served in a store by a vibrant young girl with a healthy cleavage. As she leans forward to take my credit card I’ll have one of those fleeting, flimsy, fantasies whereby the straps of her dress fall off, her beautiful breasts are exposed and the next thing I know one of her nipples is in my mouth, my tongue teasing it out to its full length, the other being caressed by my left hand. My reverie will be interrupted of course, by the signing of the credit card slip and so I’ll take my fantasy home with my purchases, to be taken out and played with later.

When strolling along the beach on a summer’s day, I’m more likely to notice the women than the men.

My porn collection also demonstrates my bisexuality, with its strong component of solo women and lesbian sex. Straight porn has to have a kink factor to get me off. (That’s for another post. )

So, to return to my original question. Do I need to re-identify myself given the circumstances of my relationship? No, I don’t believe I do. I am still a healthy, lusty, happily bisexual woman who just happens to be in a straight relationship.

Cheers,

Melbourne Cup Day 2009

It’s the race that stops the nation even though it’s only the city of Melbourne that has an officially gazetted public holiday for the Melbourne Cup horse race.

Whilst I do watch the race each year I do find the Melbourne Cup race is kind of like an orgasm – it’s all over in a few short moments. *sigh*

Even the tiny town of Alice Springs, in the desert, too many kilometres from Melbourne to count, stops what it’s doing for the afternoon to watch the race and then doesn’t really bother going back to work when the 3 minute race is over.

Of course, this year Alice Springs’ quietness probably has more to do with the fact that the CBD has no telephone landlines working, no internet access and no EFTPOS. All courtesy of a small car crash last Sunday morning which did a lot of damage to a whole bunch of cables. Full communications should be restored to the main part of town by tomorrow night. Hopefully.

I’m fortunate enough to live in one of the outer suburbs thus my phone and internet are not affected.

 

 

I’m back!

Flew back to Alice Springs on the weekend. Gosh but it’s surely hot in the desert now! Phew! Will take me a few days to acclimatize.

Had a terrific time away. Looked at Hobart with a more critical eye to my last visit five years ago. The Tassie capital has developed and spread with resultant increased density of traffic and noise.

The waterfront was still a magnificent and I got to see the Sea Shepherd’s ship Steve Irwin whilst it was in port, even got to go on board for a free tour. I am more impressed by the volunteers that sail her, it’s a job I couldn’t do. I wish the crew well and a successful season preventing the killing of whales for “research” in Antarctica this summer.

Highlight of my trip has to be the two and a half days I spent in Strahan on Tasmania’s very rugged west coast. If you’re headed to the town, you owe it to yourself to do one of the Gordon River tours. Seats can be purchased for as little as $85 and it’s well worth the money. FANTASTIC! Rugged forests, magnificent harbour, lighthouses, convict-built channel stone walls and harsh convict history. It’s all there.

I then spent a week lolling about in Adelaide. Very pleasant, didn’t do much except read Tasmanian history and occasionally wander the nearby shopping areas of Torrensville. Great food, lovely weather. Even got warm enough to go paddle my feet at the beach one day.

But it’s back to the desert now. Summer is fast approaching. My hope is to pop in here regularly to post but I am having a few health problems which put me in the mood for resting rather than writing or reading. Should be on the improve later in the week.

 

A slight pause whilst I savour the sights in the south

It’s Thursday afternoon, I’m packed (apart from my toothpaste)(I have two toothbrushes so one is packed) and I’m ready to fly out tomorrow morning.

First leg of my journey is by light plane (single-engined, four-seater). We’re planning on flying direct to Port Augusta (wind gods willing) where we’ll refuel and then do the short hop on to Adelaide.

I’m spending a few days in the South Australian capital with family before hopping aboard a much larger plane to Hobart (thank you to Tiger Airways for their oh so cheap fares).

Ten days in Tasmania.

I’d love to say I’m doing this wonderful, long, meandering tour of the island but I’m not. As I’m spending time with my daughter, we’re bound by her committments and unfortunately she can’t get the whole ten days off work and then she has a social obligation she must attend to right in the middle of her 5 days off. Not to worry.

What we’re going to do is a day trip from Hobart to Russell Falls in the Mt Field National Park.

On the Sunday we’re driving up to Strahan for two nights. Yes, at long last I am doing the cruise up Macquarie Harbour and into the Gordon River.

The cruise includes a visit to Sarah Island, featured in the movie Van Dieman’s Land, currently showing in selected Australian cinemas. I’m hoping to catch the movie before I do the cruise. As a friend described it to me, “beautiful but grim”.

We should have plenty of time (thanks to daylight saving!) to drive out to Ocean Beach and see the shearwaters (birds) which should be in plentiful abundance at this time of year.

On the Tuesday we’ll drive back to Hobart, sightseeing along the way.

The rest of the time will be based in Hobart. Shopping, art galleries, museums. And quality mother-daughter time.

Cheers!

Quiet Sundays in the Desert

I adore quiet Sundays, those days when the neighbourhood is quietly resting, just a few cars driving past but barely disturbing the peace.

My daughter and her lovely partner have departed, their company, whilst unobtrusive, is missed by both myself and my partner.

Then I had to return to work. Full on, short staffed, myriad of things that went wrong and needing fixing. And somehow, the new administrative assistant whom I am supposed to be supporting, she seems to believe that I am the fount of all knowledge of administrative matters for this organisation. The remaining few staff also seem to think I know a lot more than I do. I try to explain that the Administrator (capital ‘A’) is the wondrous fount of knowledge, not I. I point out that I’ve only been working for a few months, and only on certain tasks and no, no, no, a thousand times no, I do not have access to the organisation’s online banking facility or its credit card. So I can’t pay those bills, sorry.

Should be most interesting when the Administrator returns to the office on Tuesday morning. Just in time for the payroll to be done again. And to discover that no, they didn’t end up doing those job interviews they were meant to do two weeks ago. I see task upon task piling up on the Administrator’s desk.

Glad I’m off out of town shortly (again) (yes, I know, can’t tie me down).

Alice Springs Desert Park

Playing tourist today with my daughter and her partner who are visiting Alice Springs for a week. This morning we went out to the Desert Park. As always, it’s a beautiful and fascinating place to visit. One learns so much about the desert environments, of which there are many: the sandy, the desert rivers & the desert woodlands.

This photo (above) was taken in the woodlands, looking across the Park, towards the MacDonnell Ranges.

Lots of wildflowers in bloom as we had rain fall a few weeks back. Beautiful and plentiful.

Desert rivers environment.

Western bowerbird.

The Desert Park has an enormous collection of birds displayed in numerous large (enormous) walk-through and walk-in cages.

A white-faced heron. Found in the desert rivers environment exhibit. This is one of my favourite birds.

Close-up of some healthy looking wildflowers at the Desert Park.

Typical scene at the Desert Park today. Flowers and native trees blooming colourfully everywhere.

And finally, some Desert Oaks. You see these trees out around Kata Tjuta (the Olgas) and also around Arltunga (the old abandoned gold mining area, 130kms east of the Alice). They’re usually a bit more water deprived and subsequently look a bit more silvery-green-grey than this, but these are fine young trees nevertheless.

Deniliquin – home of the Ute Muster

Probably the most unexpected highlight of my recent road trip between Brisbane and Adelaide, was the small town of Deniliquin, NSW. Deniliquin sits on the Edward River, not far from the Murray River & the state border.

We’d driven down via the Long Paddock route from Jerilderie, crossing kilometres of flat plains, denuded of trees for farming. As we drew in close to Deni (as the locals refer to the town), we spotted river gums and paper bark trees, signifying the presence of water.

It was a cold, grey, overcast Saturday afternoon. Rain fell sporadically, drizzle drizzled often. Fragments of mist occasionally swirled through the trees as we neared the river and Island Sanctuary. This small island sits in the middle of town. A lovely park, full of tall gums and other native flora. Very evocative scenery, perfect setting for a moody, scary movie!

We opted to stay right on the river, within walking distance of town and the Sanctuary. Island Sanctuary is reached via a pedestrian bridge that swings and sways in the wind. I imagine in the summer this place would be a marvellous spot for a bbq at the end of a hot day.

We spent an hour meandering the island, enjoying the atmosphere, gazing at the houseboats and the cabins across the water, watching, listening to the birds.

Back at the motel we couldn’t help but notice the number of utes in the carpark. Deniliquin is the home of the annual Ute Muster (to be held this year on the 2 & 3 October). Nine vehicles, seven of which were utes, one was a 4WD and then there was our little Audi sedan.

The other thing about Deni? Trackie dacks. Sitting at the fish & chip shop, waiting for our dinner to be cooked, we were treated to a run of people, all wearing sagging, fleecy track pants. Warmth and comfort I guess. There was one man with spurs. He wasn’t wearing track pants, he wore tight black jeans. With the size of his spurs, there was no sneaking up on him.

We all thoroughly enjoyed our brief sojourn in Deniliquin. So much so that we plan to revisit the town, hopefully next autumn or winter. We’d like to book in to one of those self-contained cabins on the river for a week, soak up the atmosphere of Island Sanctuary and write. And take photos. And videos. Should be fun.

Duckies!

Every road trip I’ve done over the past five years has, at some point, involved the sighting of ducks. Sometimes they’re flying overhead, sometimes they’re waddling across a road, this time they were paddling across a lake.

Having spotted the humans, from far away in the distance, the brilliantly white ducks paddle in for a closer look. I suspect they were expecting to be fed. Alas, that was not to be, we were there to look only.

Aren’t these white ducks simply beautiful?

And what about this duck? Another very attractive species.

These ducks were all found swimming on the small lake in the park by the Visitor Information Centre in Parkes, NSW. It’s on the northern entrance to the town, on the Newell Hwy. The park has bbq’s, picnic tables, toilets, plenty of space and an old steam train to look at, as well as the Visitor centre. Nice and easy to find, with easy parking.

Road trips & coffee shops

You can’t do a road trip without sampling a few coffee shops and bakeries along the way. A small handful deserve mention for providing outstanding food and friendly service. Remember, many of these coffee shops are located in very small towns, far from the plentiful supplies of the capital cities. That they’re able to serve such good, wholesome food is truly wonderful. Well done!

Coonabarabran, NSW - Coona is a very small town of around 3000 people. Top marks go to Cardians Coffee Lounge at the river end of the town. Much to my sister’s delight the coffee shop not only had lovely fresh scones, they served chai with soy milk. Local artworks are displayed along the wall, some creative people in this small town, the walls are worth browsing.

Peak Hill, NSW – Cino 86, this has to be the tiny village’s best coffee shop? The coffee and teas were terrific, soy milk was an option thoroughly enjoyed by the Playwright. The toasted sandwiches were not only scrumptious (and oh so perfect for a super chilly day), they also arrived with perfect timing with the coffees. Not bad for a lone operator who was filling in for the owner before the lunchtime rush which started early! Special mention too about the village’s beautiful garden beds along the main street – the flowers were all in luscious bloom and the plants look incredibly healthy. Hearty congratulations to the town for coming up with the idea and for obviously putting much time and effort in to maintaining these very pretty gardens.

Jerilderie, NSW – the bakery. Again, soy milk was available, and the coffees were good. The teas were fine, not the best, but very welcome and tasty. Food was fresh and delightful. We bought a loaf of bread there and it saw us through some very fine toast over the next few mornings at breakfast.

Warracknabeal, Victoria – the Warrack Hot Bread Bakery & Cafe. Very plain, just looks like your average small town bakery, we didn’t expect too high a standard. Well, were we surprised! Coffees and teas were perfect, soy milk was available, and the sweet buns were lovely. Terrific tucker for an early lunch and very friendly service. And to top off the Warracknabeal experience, there’s a wonderful op-shop with a great range of second hand books. We managed to fill any empty spaces in the car’s boot with books! The town has some lovely heritage buildings, many in the art deco style.

Ouyen, Victoria – home of the Vanilla Slice apparently. We just missed the annual bake off, held in early September. Look, select any of the open eateries (and there are many, the service stations are not to be overlooked here either), choose your vanilla slices and you’ll be well satisfied. A great little town. Will be back. Not just for the vanilla slices.  One of the best motels we experienced was Ouyen’s Hilltop Motel. If you’re passing through, I cannot recommend it highly enough! A very relaxing stay in a beautiful setting. Thanks to Phil & Julie.